It’s not easy for me to become noticed, or better: visible, and sell some art or art-related products. The rules and tools of google, bing or SEO are a foreign universe to me. I spend hours and hours to learn the basics of running a website, a blog or a print-on-demand-shop. Not to mention Instagram, Twitter, Flickr, Tumbler and Pinterest.
Telling someone that my art is amazing or worth to be bought... that’s really hard for me. I constantly compare my artwork. And in 90% I decide that other artists do better than I do.
I know, that there is no ultimate good or bad, ugly or pretty... or whatever people think when they love or hate a piece of art. Sometimes I’m wondering what customers buy. Or what is liked or ignored in social media.
What matters? The joy I feel while creating a painting? To be attached by the motive? To feel some kind of proud when I look at my pictures after a while? That fascinating state of flow during working? The applause of an audience? The number of likes under my posts? The loving and caring thoughts for a person, when I make a greeting card? The money I (don’t) earn?
While doubting and complaining I stop enjoying. Judging myself or my artwork is so demotivating. Being afraid of failing is paralyzing. Thinking of what others would love or hate makes me unsure. Feeling invisible produces self-doubts.
The whole process of becoming visible is an intense process of working with my narcissistic self... self-doubts included.
As an unsuccessful artist you face your shadows, your fears, your sorrows and your pain. You can drown in these depressing feelings. And stop creating.
You keep on trying to become visible. You set your focus on the process of creating. You interact with your motives. You love (most/a lot/some of ) your artworks. You accept not to be admired by others. You learn how to deal with criticism. You have another job to earn your living. You just admire other artists without comparing their artworks to yours, so that it can inspire you.
You create your own artworks. You learn how to be happy, independent from the opinions of others. I’m not sure, if I will be visible one day as an artist. I don’t know, if I will ever make a living with my artworks.
But I’m sure about that:
I want to be creative, make art, play with colors and medias, interact with the world’s wonders, be aware of the moment, help me and other people to see the beauty in everyday life, be thankful for my existence... and celebrate life.
... visible or invisible...